Do Something Every Day

On February 19th, I made a commitment to myself.  I would do something for my acting career every day for six months, no matter what.  Even if I felt like giving up and the world was completely against me (which has happened), I would still keep pressing on. 

Well, I'm half-way through that goal and have done pretty well with it.  The results have been tangible.  My bookings have increased, the business side of my career is the most organized it's ever been but most importantly I feel like I'm doing my part and becoming a better performer.  As a wise teacher once told me, if you're relying 100% on your agent to advance your career, you're making a big mistake. 

Tips for a Perfect Headshot Session

I got new headshots taken today. It's been two years since my last shots were taken so it's about time. Most agents recommend getting them done every 18 months to two years. My old shots were still a pretty accurate depiction of what I look like in real life but my agent suggested that I get them done anyway as they often get "stale" after casting directors see them over and over again.

Celebrating the Successes

Lately I've done a lot of complaining about what hasn't been working out...the two SAG national commercials, the big network series audition, etc. What I've failed to mention is what is going right and that's plenty!

Back in the Saddle Again

Yee-haw.  I had my first audition today since Saturday's Performance Anxiety - Epic Fail.  It was for a commercial and was, well, a little rough at first.  My confidence is still convalescing.  But I got to audition twice, which is a nice rarity.  There were more men than women so they asked me to stay for a second pairing and audition again. My second audition pairing went much better than the first.

The Longest Mile

The longest mile was the first mile I ran on my treadmill today.  I was tired, frustrated and wanted nothing more than to just give up.  I seriously thought about quitting. 

But I mustered the energy to keep going.  I backed my pace off a bit for a minute.  Then I pressed forward and it got easier.  Before I knew it, my run was accomplished.

If I had quit, it would've felt better in the moment.  But I would've felt terrible about myself the rest of the day.  I needed that accomplishment but even more so, I needed the process.  The process of setting my mind to sticking with it no matter how bad it felt.  The process of working through the pain until it got easier.  The backing off for a minute and the decision to press forward with all my might. 

Persistence in Acting

Sometimes I write about certain topics simply because I need advice the most. Now is one of those times. Please bear with me while I ply myself with quotes to help me keep on, keeping on. Maybe you're having one of those days too. Here are some quotes on persistence because I (you) really, really need them.

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." - Thomas Alva Edison

Breaking Down My Breakdown

I'd like to say that I feel a whole lot better this morning and gained all kinds of fabulous perspective on my performance anxiety meltdown.  But I don't (feel better) and I haven't (gained perspective).

Last night while attempting to fall asleep, I did break it down a bit more.  The problem lies in my perfectionism and control issues.  I always strive to be a stand-out no matter what I do.  I can't settle for mediocrity and am very competitive.  Whether it's work or class, even yoga, I have to know that what I'm doing is at the top of the game.  Classic perfectionism.

Performance Anxiety - Epic Fail

I'm still trying to process what happened yesterday, it feels really surreal.

For two months I've been looking forward to my first real film role. Shooting started this past week. I had shot a few scenes already this week but they were mostly MOS with no dialogue, reactions only. One particular scene pushed me to my limits in using my emotions and I nailed that (see Pushing the Limits). But yesterday I shot my first scenes where I had dialogue and that's where it all fell apart.

Close but no Cigar...Again

Probably the most difficult challenge of acting is mental toughness in the face of rejection after rejection. Which is just par for the course in this business and one of the necessary evils. Most actors struggle the most with this in the beginning of their careers when the bookings are few and far between. Eventually your skin gets thicker and you start to expect it and it doesn’t hurt much, if at all. Then you start to book and it gets hard again. Especially when you just KNOW you nailed that audition, but the phone never rings.

Getting Past a Bad Audition

Here's a post I ran a month ago on my other (mom) blog.  It didn't really belong there but fits perfectly here.  Enjoy...

I blew an audition today. Which shouldn’t have been that big of a deal because I haven’t in a very, very long time. As a matter of fact, I mistakenly thought that I was actually immune to blowing it at this point. HA! Well, life has a way of knocking you off your high horse when you least expect it and least want it.

Pushing the Limits

Now I understand perfectly what Sanford Meisner meant when he said "the text is the canoe and the river which it floats on is emotion".

This week, I had to prepare for the most emotional scene I've ever performed.  It dealt with my worst nightmare as a mother, the loss of a child.  In the scene, my character has just been informed by a doctor that her son has died.  She then tries to rush out of the room to go find him while two doctors hold her back.